As we know, tabloids and magazines constantly feature celebrities and the “latest gossip”. This also exists for certain communities where people or groups are made out to be the topic of the month or perhaps for years to come. Many of us agree that people deserve privacy and violation against one’s privacy is not only in some cases illegal but just wrong.

I then ask the question: Why? Why do some communities simulate the gossip networks and highlight other’s shortcomings putting them right into the spotlight? What good does it do to expose others?

That is a question I have yet to fully answer, but I do know this: Being in the spotlight is anything but fun and once you’re in it, you’ll forever be changed.

I’ve been in the spotlight myself, a few times here and there. It was brutal. I was embarrassed of myself, I felt pressured to explain my “side of the story”, and worst of all I felt completely isolated from the community around me that I thought would protect me (rather, they exposed me). Those who are fortunate enough not being in the spotlight, try to understand the lives of those who are or were.

It changes you, it really does. It certainly changed me. I have a certain paranoia when it comes to people, situations, basically the environment around me. I have, and I’m sure it’s obvious: TRUST ISSUES. We all have our trust issues, but this heightens the level of mistrust with others. When the community betrays you, you succumb to these feelings of paranoia and mistrust, and even become less happy. I am not insinuating that less happy equals depression but it can certainly impact one’s mood. I never want to be in the spotlight, even for good (yes, the evil eye is scary! beware!).

If I could get some answers as to why we become the tabloids in our communities, why we expose others, and why we isolate and ostracize others even though the story is almost always not what it seems to be, then maybe we’ll get somewhere. Maybe we’ll get to a place where we are satisfied with ourselves that we don’t need other people’s stories and lives to satisfy us and entertain our egos.

What’s it like, being in the spotlight? Like absolute hell.

Dana Barakat

Our society has become more aware of the importance of gender equality. And yet, it is apparent that those who are spreading the awareness are mainly women themselves.

Whenever women are told and reminded that they are indeed a woman it becomes degrading, pointing out the obvious but in a manner where it is clearly the downgraded version of man.

I am here to tell you that I am not just a woman. I am a artist, a writer, a student, a friend, a sister, a daughter, an optimist or realist (depending on my days), a clinician to be, a lover of psychology, and many many more.

When we keep reminding women and girls that this is all they are just a female we perpetuate the gender inequality, male patriarchy, and utter stupidity. It is stupid to denounce the entirety of a human being and simplify their existence by their sex. Let’s wake up and take control. Yes, I’m speaking first and foremost to us “women”. And to the men join in on this journey, because whether or not it is accepted it will happen. The world cannot function to its best potential if we don’t work together, recognize each other, support each other, and actually see each other as equals.

Here is an original poem on this topic:

Would you look at that? 

There she walks

So bold, so fast, fierce

And all they see is her movement.

Her face, her eyes, her lips…

But they forget to see what I clearly visualize:

A woman with a brain, intellect, personality

And then they turned around after she stopped walking

They said “Hey, woman! Keep on moving!”

And she said “Hey! Woah man, I’m not just a woman.

I am more than you’ll ever know and what you aspire to be

I will keep on moving, but for me.

Peace & Love

Dana

Sometimes I feel like they just don’t understand me. And then that thought amplifies where I start thinking that nobody understands me or has the capability to do so.

Sometimes I want to be understood. Other times I just want to be heard. But most often I just want more than a nod and a smile and the phrase “Yeah, I totally understand.” Do you? Do you really understand?

And then I get to more thinking… maybe nobody has to understand. Maybe our experiences are so diverse and distinct from one another that true and pure understanding is impossible to achieve.

And then, of course, I start to understand. Our experiences and challenges may be “different” but they have a basis in emotion(s). All experiences bounce off of fear, happiness, anger, sadness, or all of them combined or some at the same time. So what does that mean? Well… it means that even though I can’t fully relate to your world and what happens in it, I have the ability to somehow understand your feelings and emotions and connect from there.

Now, the real challenge is having someone that wants to listen, reflect, and understand. Do you want to understand others? Not simply putting yourself in their shoes or heels or whatever but really delving right into their world and making sense of another’s life. Sounds fascinating. Sounds interesting. And sounds like a lot of damn hard work. But is it worth it? Is it worth it to understand others, yourself, or me?

I believe that we don’t always need to have a total and complete understanding of ourselves because we can be lost sometimes. Nevertheless, understanding yourself can do wonders. Building from that, if you can understand you and be introspective others can start to understand you as well.

If you don’t know me personally, you might be asking yourself: why does this girl write about this stuff? Answer to that: Because my mind wanders extensively and here’s a snapshot of what I mean: First I’ll be thinking of spring then remember in May is my birthday, then all of a sudden I connect that with birthday balloons and remember how my youngest sister got balloons for her birthday and how happy she was, and then I take it further and think about her smile and how much I love her and then I end the thought with how I was the first one to feed her when she born and how amazing it was. Yeah, my mind goes all over the place and the thoughts I express are in the moment, just like that. I hope you understand me in that sense.

Understand me. Figure me out. Understand others. And most importantly understand yourself.

Peace & Love

Dana Barakat

Too Polarized, the name of this blog, was inspired by a personal experience with Bipolar. Bipolar disorder generally gives off a negative connotation (OMG, she’s so bipolar!) which perpetuates the stigma around it and other mental health disorders.

Well, I’m honored to have it. This definitely wasn’t my mentality about Bipolar when I was first diagnosed but I’ve come to a level of great acceptance. Those who have bipolar disorder are generally more creative, artistic, and have good leadership skills and/or leadership roles. I am, by nature, creative and artistic, thinking “outside the box” almost every second of the day.

So why am I honored to have this disorder? After all, a disorder means that you’ve crossed the line of normal to abnormal, sanity to insanity, right? Wrong. Having a disorder is just another way of letting you know you’ve got an added challenge in your life that can strengthen you if you choose to do so. No one is normal. No one is completely and utterly insane. We all have some elements of a natural bipolarity; I am blessed to have had this  challenge because I overcame it and I was taught at an early age what suffering truly meant which brought me to accumulate more empathy and understanding to other’s painful experiences or challenges that they have faced.

So what is this blog going to be about?  Well, just about anything! Whatever my outside the thinking box gets inspired to write, that’s that. However, this blog will also be an expressive and personal adventure for myself and those who read by the sharing of my polarized self and experiences. Bipolar isn’t all of me, it’s a part of me that I fully accept.

Reading this blog is like entering the inner workings of my mind, which will without a doubt be nothing but interesting.

~Peace & Love, Dana 

There is this unspoken rule that those higher than you in authority or position should be respected automatically. I want to challenge this and challenge I must.

Let’s take two different job positions: janitor of a high school & a principal of a high school.

Most students fear their principal due to punishment and teachers and faculty respect the principal. However, if the principal is unethical, rude, and pompous in attitude… should they have that automatic respect because of their entitlement? Answer is to most people: well, yeah they’re still the principal. My answer: Absolutely not.

As for the janitor, their job description doesn’t tell them that they have to have e certain personality (kindness, respect, etc.) to work in that job. However, this is true for a principal in some senses as well. But if the janitor is kind and respectful to students, he/she has earned respect from others even though he/she doesn’t necessarily have to carry out being kind and respectful to others (going out of their way to make others feel good, happy, etc.). As a principal, if you cannot respect your students, teachers, faculty/staff members you don’t automatically get respect, you must EARN it.

Basically, you can be the most famous person on this planet or the most powerful person on this planet but you will NOT have my respect until you earn it. It’s not a given. We need to stand up to rudeness, inequality, and disrespect when it is shown, regardless of whom is displaying those attitudes.

R E S P E C T 

Dana Barakat

There’s always that one person that makes a huge impression in your life. I’m not talking about the obvious people like your mother or your sister, brother or father. I’m really getting at that random person who shows up in your life, the person you’ve barely met, the person that sparks an inspirational flame that doesn’t go out quite so fast.

I’ve had many random encounters with people I’ve never met before, all of which were eye-opening experiences, and yet it seems like only a few of those have really been engraved in my heart. 

Imagine you are at Starbucks. Imagine you’re on your laptop, on Facebook, with headphones listening to iTunes, etc. when a lady simply asks to see the newspaper that is next to you. And so you hand it over… and little do you know that you and that lady will an interesting discussion. And that is exactly what happened. She was out of work, trying to find a job. We discussed my major (Psychology) and my possible future career ideas. We discussed politics, youth, the Arab Spring and Syria in particular, we talked about psychology and so many other random combinations of topics. In the end, she expressed her frustration at not being able to find a stable job. She said, however, that she was going to keep trying. Her story was inspirational because although she was jobless she was determined to keep going in her life. And there I was never giving a care in the world about what having a job means and what responsibility is. It was amazing to see how, although she was clearly struggling, she was making the absolute best of her situation and challenges.

Honestly, if you want to be inspired or have a new perspective on life or have your perspectives put into place, be open to the randomness and go with the flow. Seriously. 

Life is about learning, but sometimes learning from the same people continuously does no good. Learn from others around you that you may have only met once or twice, or even from people you have literally never seen before.

But in the end, it is not a person that lifts you up higher. It is God who does that. Actually, let me rephrase. A person who inspires you on the path of mediation and righteousness has guided you to the Supreme Being who will then pull you up and give you strength to continue life. You see, people like that are rare and they are worth finding or accidentally bumping into because once you meet That One Person, you’ll never be the same.

☮ Dana 

Time is strange. We age. We have a past: a history. Yet, time doesn’t leave all moments and memories impressionable. We don’t remember each day. We sometimes wonder how time has gone so fast, and how today, this very day, came. Five years ago we were a different person. Yes, we change. We change not only by time but by experiences. Time is strange because it moves and we cannot catch it or stop it. Time is strange because we can’t see it and yet it controls our growth and gives us wrinkles and gray hair.

Sometimes time makes us think. We think about the times we yearn to forget or change, but we can’t, ever.

Tick tock goes the clock, creating a mess, a havoc. It moves as it mocks, it took the key and it had to lock the safe that one day will have us flock, because the moment it does not tick or tock we no more rock, we just stop. When the safe is opened our death is immediate, for it locked away our youth and time, and when it’s up we are beneath the ground, never again to make a sound. Tick tock goes the clock, creating anxiety, creating infinity.